Tuesday, August 21, 2007

making friends

Mission: New Friends is about to get underway. I have never been good about friendships. I have the sort of personality that makes it easy to make friends quickly...

"hey, you are so funny!"

and drive them away just as fast...

"oh my God, you are so annoying."

So I wind up culling very few long-lasting, quality friendships. The friends I've kept since high school? A big fat goose egg. And that was only nine years ago.

So as part of my new campaign, I am going to try being more outgoing. I am going to actually hunt down potential friends. To that end, I have decided several things need to happen. I need to:

a) Figure out what makes me seem annoying. I have no idea how I manage to kill friendships. But I should try to find out. It may be a painful process (no one likes to hear why they suck) but it would be worth it to actually have those lifelong friendships everyone else is always going on about.

b) Determine what my interests are and how to find others with similiar interests. I have trouble keeping friends whose interests are different than mine. Thus, the better I get to know a person, the more differences we discover, and the tougher it is for me to relate to him/her. I think this may be one of my annoying habits. But since I know it about myself, maybe starting things off with more in common will help.

c) Become more tolerant of the differences we DO have. Just because you have a daughter and I have a son does not mean we can't be friends. Just because we have differing political persuasions doesn't mean that we'll never agree on a place to eat lunch. And so forth.

This has been coming for awhile, I suppose, but the trifecta of inspiration came in the form of this blog (I think all of you fellow crafters are so nice and interesting, yet I personally know only one of you), my growing envy of my sister's cool friends (how come I don't have friends who will play Cities and Knights of Catan with me until 3 AM?), and my realization that I have so few people whom I can call up about whatever, or who would call me for same.

So there it is. Off to make new friends.


Chel said...

I hope your mission is succesful! It is so hard to put yourself out there. And watch out for the crazies - I have one and you can never shake them :)

Anya said...

That's kind of funny (in a serious sort of way). I am kind of like you, I meet A LOT of people, but I do not call them friends. Generally people like me, but it's really hard for me to allow them into my life, so I sort of weed them out. Is that so bad of me? I have a few keepers, but I'm constantly insecure about it - should I have more friend, shouldn't I? Is it worth my time obsessing over it? Whatever happens, good luck. Sometimes you just can't help that some are annoying.. :)

peaknits said...

Good luck on your quest to de leop some new friendships - it's tough to be open and invite people to do things. I find as I get older and busy with my family I don't make enough time for friends and let friendships go to easily - I need to work on that:)

Cinnamonamon said...

It is hard, isn't it? I lived in Florida for 5 years and only found a close friend the last year and a half I was there -- then I moved back to MI! Now I've met another & within the month she'll be moving out of state as well... Urg! You should definitely come to the knitterpalooza!

Knitterella said...

Good luck on your mission. I think it's harder to meet friends as we get older. People seem to be settled in their lives and get so busy. I think you should go to sit and knits and such to meet knitting and crochet friends.

Are you going to Knitterpalooza? I might be going with Cinnamonamon!


knittin gin said...

You don't seem the least bit annoying! I agree with earlier comments though that it does seem to be harder to cultivate new friendships as we get older, especially if someone's life is taking a different direction than yours. That's what's so great about blogging though, there's so much opportunity for making new friends that we didn't have just a few years ago. I think we're pretty lucky!

Amy said...

You said "trifecta"-- that's enough for me! :)